keeks

so alots changed, ive taken a massive step but none of you even know. none of you have asked. and you, you let me hang up when i needed you most, that hurt more than anything before. more than what i found out today. your a liar. its all a lie, the whole thing. ‘i love you’; just another. i should never have fallen for it. its too hard.

theyve gone, but your back. i dont know what to say to you, it all seems so fake and forced but its nice at the same time. i havent told anyone but jess, i dont want to get my hopes up. it could all go wrong again, but today you really tried. and maybe it will work out, it should never have been this way. youve been there my whole life and walking out was the most painful thing, so walking back in will take time.

maybe i can only have one or the other, and right now i dont know who has hurt me worse. to have to and not. or to chose to and not. i am too exhausted of it all to decide. maybe this is for the best.

seems like everybodys breaking up, throwing their love away. but i know i got thing right here, thats why i stay?

nice to see your priorites. always gunna be second best arent i? well fuck you. im done being the girl sat at home crying coz you cant be bothered to make a fucking effort. your a cunt. simple as. a thoughtless inconsiderate CUNT.

Looking at the pages of my life 
Faded memories of me and you 
Mistakes you know I’ve made a few 
I took some shots and fell from time to time 
Baby, you were there to pull me through 
We’ve been around the block a time or two 
I’m gonna lay it on the line 
Ask me how we’ve come this far 
The answer’s written in my eyes

Every time I look at you, baby, I see something new 
That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more 
I don’t wanna sleep tonight, dreamin’s just a waste of time 
When I look at what my life’s been comin’ to 
I’m all about lovin’ you

I’ve lived, I’ve loved, I’ve lost, I’ve paid some dues, baby 
We’ve been to hell and back again 
Through it all you’re always my best friend 
For all the words I didn’t say and all the things I didn’t do 
Tonight I’m gonna find a way

splish.

i hate you. i really dont have one nice word to say about you. you dp my head in. nobody likes you. everyone who meets you thinks you are possesed. so yes you are a cunt. you deliberatly be a shit. your year 7 love so stop tryna give the old teenage bit coz you aint anywhere close. fuck off away from me or i will kick your face in. cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt

it says it all that you dont know what to say. we go through this time and time again and it doesnt change. i dont want to walk away it would be so hard. but maybe its harder sticking around when i know its not the same? holding onto something i half have. i love you with all my heart but its not fair. i cant keep on with this. i dont even know if the happyness outways the sadness anymore.. how sad to think how it was, and how it can be sometimes. why cant you just fight for us, like how i do. i guess its pretty clear how its gunna go down.

oh my good god. what is going on? STOP BLOG FIGHTING. i dont care if im getting involved. why publisise everything to everyone. its mean and unnecessary. and now everyones done it, being my best friends, friends, people i know and whatever so i can say without looking like im taking a side. but you were all close so stop using your words against each other + writing how much people dont like people.

people change. girls bitch. family sticks by each other. people get pissed off. maybe even left out. anger makes you say stupid things you cant take back. but look at this now, its gotten crazy.

on other notes;
1 i cannot even get over what hes done this time. i want to see him beg for mercy.
you deserve better.
2 i am excited to see georgina tomorrow :)

4:35 AM

just watched hannah montana :) i am enlightened. god i love watching this shit. i been watching it all day then when i come home drunk after a banging night it sobers me up. pulled over twice by police cars, sorted many a thing out :) life is good. its simple. its happy :)

i want lauren to return. and i want to be rich. neither will come soon enough for me to be completly fullfilled. COME HOOOOOOOOOOME> I LOVE YOU;..

oh yeah and like love, your bare lame. grow up

how is it we always end up back here? you seeming it, me wanting it but not wanting to play the fool. just come out and say it. say your sorry. make me understand that all that hurt was you being stubborn. not wanting to lose. we are so alike it tears us apart. and everytime the pieces start to come back together it all happens again. the same problem. that same cunt. why cant it all go back a few years, to when we were perfect.
i miss it. and its taken me a year to say it. and still not to you. i admit it.